Unconditional
by 73stargazer
Summary: 2380. After the Enterprise suffers an attack, Picard ends up at Starfleet Medical under Beverly's care.
1. Chapter 1

Unconditional

Synopsis:

2380\. After the Enterprise suffers an attack, Picard ends up at Starfleet Medical under Beverly's care.

Rating: M

Part 1

"Jean-Luc?" perched on the edge of the biobed, Beverly lays one hand on Jean-Luc's chest over top of the blue blanket covering his gown-clad body, her eyes rapidly scanning the biomonitor above the bed in the private room in the infirmary at Starfleet Medical.

Blinking slowly, Picard clears the haze from his eyes, staring up tentatively at the woman in a blue lab coat on the biobed hovering above him.

"Jean-Luc!" gasps Beverly in relief, running her hand ever so gently down his chest. Regaining her detachment, Beverly returns her attention to the biomonitors above the bed to check Picard's vital signs and brain activity. "How are you feeling?"

With a low groan, Jean-Luc shifts up, alarmed and confused. "Uh…?"

Refocusing her attention on her patient, Beverly shakes her head, guiding his shoulders gently and carefully back down to the bed. "It's okay, Jean-Luc. You're alright. Take it easy."

"What?…Where?" Stutters Picard, his eyes scanning the room.

Rubbing his shoulder, Beverly slides closer on to the bed, smiling softly. "It's alright. You're in the infirmary at Medical. You took quite a blow when the _Enterprise_ was assaulted. They towed the ship back to McKinley and you, and a dozen other crew, were transferred to the infirmary." Beverly smiles playfully, moving her hand down his right arm. "You gave me quite a scare when I found you on my operating table, Jean-Luc."

Furrowing his brows, Picard regards her questioningly. "You're my doctor?"

Eyes dilating, Beverly's lips part, absorbing Jean-Luc's words and his vacant expression. "Yes. Yes, I'm your doctor."

"What am I doing here?" inquires Picard, tilting his next to appraise his body, covered by the blue blanket.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Beverly forces herself to become clinical. "You broke your clavicle, a few ribs, your left arm. You punctured a lung." Studying his strange eyes looking back at her, Beverly exhales audibly. "And, you have a concussion."

Nodding slowly, Jean-Luc brings his left arm, set in a short cast across his forearm, from under the blanket and rests it on top of his chest.

"How do you feel? Are you sore?" Assessing his physical and emotional condition, Beverly notes his obvious confusion and apprehension.

As head of Starfleet Medical, Beverly doesn't typically find herself in the operating room on a daily basis. She oversees Starfleet Medical, is the bureaucratic representative of Medical to the Starfleet upper echelon. She has a large staff to manage at Medical and an awful lot of reporting to do to Starfleet. Beverly serves as liaison and diplomatic officer on medical issues, and spearheads new research initiatives. Most days she's in meetings or behind the large desk in her massive corner office. So, it's rare for her to scrub up and get behind a laser scalpel. However, when the _Enterprise_ sustained a massive attack and a dozen officers were transferred to her infirmary, Beverly all but ran to personally investigate the situation. She wouldn't permit any of her staff to as much as touch the one Jean-Luc Picard until she had thoroughly assessed him for herself. And, in a matter of hours, Beverly, along with her skilled and experienced team, had Picard patched up, almost as good as new. She had assumed he was out of the woods.

Pursing his lips, Picard nods trepidatiously.

Beverly retrieves a hypo spray beside her on the biobed and leans in to press it to his neck, and Picard flinches. Resting her hand on his arm, Beverly smiles warmly. "This will alleviate the pain."

Sighing in relief, Picard bobs his head. "Thank you. Got a little headache."

Frowning, Beverly nods, patting his right, uninjured, arm. "Yes. You hit your head. The medicine will help."

"Thank you, Doctor," murmurs Jean-Luc, his eyes drifting closed.

Sighing, Beverly lifts herself off of the bed, dropping the hypospray into the pocket of her lab coat.

 _It's worse than I thought. He's lost his memory. And, I don't think it's the concussion._

PAGE BREAK

Slipping into the private room in the infirmary, Beverly is somewhat surprised to find Picard seated upright in the biobed.

"Doctor Crusher!" Picard exclaims, extending his right arm.

Alarmed, Beverly races to his side. "What's wrong, Jean-Luc?"

"I was looking for…you…" stammers Jean-Luc, face contorted in confusion. "I…I didn't know…The…nurse…Nurse said you were Doctor Crusher?"

Smiling warmly, Beverly perches on the edge of the biobed beside his hip. "I'm sorry. I had a conference with another colleague." Quickly scanning the biomonitor above the bed, Beverly notes that his vitals have improved in the two hours she had been absent video conferencing with a colleague. "How are you feeling?"

"Nurse…Nurse…Maggie? She said you were in charge?" Picard asks inquisitively, fumbling for words.

Producing a hypospray from the pocket of her lab coat, Beverly administers it to his neck. "Yes. I'm in charge of Starfleet Medical."

"Doctor Crusher?" confirms Picard, relaxing slightly.

"Call me 'Beverly'," instructs Beverly softly, a bittersweet smile on her lips. Never would she have imagined he'd forget her name.

Seemingly satisfied, Picard nods. "And, I'm … Jean-Luc Picard? You say I'm captain of some star ship?"

Eyes widening, Beverly forces a neutral expression. "Yes. The _Enterprise_. The ship is undergoing extensive repairs right now."

"My crew, are they alright?" Picard asks hesitantly.

Smiling, Beverly almost sees the real Picard behind these stranger's hazel eyes. "They're all going to be fine, Jean-Luc."

Frowning, Picard exhales. "I'm sorry. I don't…I can't recall anything."

Laying her hand on his arm, Beverly nods encouragingly. "It's okay. Your body has been through trauma. It's likely that as your brain heals your memory will return."

Appearing frustrated, Picard huffs.

"You must be hungry," Beverly surmises, rising off of the bed. "I'll get you some soup."

Picard watches as the doctor makes her way to the door.

"I'll be back in a moment," promises Beverly, dipping out into the corridor.

PAGE BREAK

"Beverly?"

Startled out of her reverie, Beverly glances up from the PADD in her hand to find her trusted second, right-hand, Tal George, standing in front of her in the corridor looking at her with concerned grey eyes.

Doctor Tal George, a silver-haired, tall man, had been a classmate of Beverly's at the Academy many moons ago, and she had had the opportunity to collaborate with him at Medical over the decades. When she had returned to Earth to head Medical, she had been thrilled to have Tal as her Assistant Head.

Exhaling, Beverly smiles lightly. "Tal. Sorry."

"What is it?" Doctor George inquires, gesturing to the PADD in her hands.

Frowning, Beverly folds her arms across her chest. "Jean-Luc's level four neurographic scan."

"What's wrong?" the tall, angular doctor asks in concern. Tal, as Beverly's Second, spends most of his time as the senior-most physician in the infirmary. He treats the most dire cases and manages the staff. All day he had been treating the injured crew of the _Enterprise_ , and he had been relieved that Beverly's old friend and commanding officer, Picard , seemed to have a positive prognosis.

A young Vulcan nurse quietly approaches them in the corridor, carrying a metal tray. "Doctor Crusher?"

Inhaling, Beverly nods her gratitude to the nurse, handing her PADD to the young nurse before accepting the tray with a bowl of soup and glass of water and utensils. "Thank you, T'Lessa."

The Vulcan nods before backing out.

"What can I do?" offers Doctor George as Beverly shifts the tray in her arms.

Sighing, Beverly shakes her head. "I'm going to get my patient some dinner. Actually, do you think you can send a message? Contact the _Titan_. Can you ask Deanna Troi to call me? At her convenience."

Nodding in understanding, Doctor George folds his hands behind his back. "Of course."

"Thanks, Tal," smiles Beverly appreciatively.

"Is there anything else I can do?" asks Doctor George hopefully.

"Yes," grimaces Beverly, tears threateningly stinging the backs of her eyes. "Invent a cure for Irumodic Syndrome."


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

"I preferred the nights when you were here," confesses Picard, taking a large bite from the bowl of oatmeal on the small tray table in front of him. He sits upright in a large lounge chair, Beverly in a chair beside him nursing a cup of coffee in the private room in the infirmary. Beverly had just relieved Doctor George from the night shift, and had brought Picard a hearty breakfast of oatmeal, fruit and herbal tea.

Smiling gently, Beverly takes a sip of her coffee. "Doctor George is wonderful." Tal had insisted that Beverly get some rest, so he had volunteered to watch the infirmary during the night shift and, most importantly, to personally take care of Beverly's personal charge, Jean-Luc Picard. So, the past two nights, Beverly had left Tal, the only one she could possibly trust, to keep tabs on Jean-Luc during the night.

Jean-Luc lifts another spoon of oatmeal to his lips. "He's fine, but he's not you."

Giggling, Beverly shakes her head at him. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know," laughs Jean-Luc, looking to Beverly in merriment. "You somehow just know. I think you take better care of me than I ever would have taken care of myself."

Smiling bittersweetly, Beverly quietly sips her coffee.

"I mustn't be very well liked," remarks Picard casually, chewing slowly.

"What do you mean?" Beverly furrows her brow, confused.

Shrugging, Picard sets his spoon in the bowl of oatmeal. "I haven't had any visitors since I was admitted to the infirmary. The only one who's visited is my First Officer. And I got a call from my former First Officer, a William Riker. I mustn't have many friends."

Smiling, Beverly nods apologetically. "That's my fault, Jean-Luc. I haven't permitted any visitors. I've been screening your communication."

"Oh," whispers Jean-Luc, puzzled.

"You are very highly regarded, I assure you," Beverly almost laughs, leaning over in her chair to pat his knee. "Even if, perhaps, you do engender intimidation among many."

Seemingly satisfied, Picard bobs his head. "Where's my family?"

Withholding a frown, Beverly straightens in her seat. "You have a sister-in-law, Marie. She's actually on vacation with some friends. It's her first time ever setting foot off Earth. I…I didn't want to call her and alarm her. She'll be back in a couple weeks and I'm sure she'd be thrilled to see you."

"The rest of my family?" Picard asks inquisitively.

Exhaling deeply, Beverly reaches over and takes his hand. "You had a brother and young nephew. They perished in a house fire. Your mother and father passed a while ago."

Pursing his lips, Jean-Luc nods in understanding. "No family, then?"

Squeezing his hand, Beverly forces a smile. "You have me."

Lips curling into a tiny smirk, Jean-Luc rubs her hand in his. "We're family?"

Chuckling good-naturedly, Beverly's eyes sparkle. "Much better than family."

Chortling, Jean-Luc decides he adores the sound of the doctor's laugh and needs to make a point to say and do more to elicit her laughter. "Well, Doctor, I'd like to hear more about that."

Giggling, Beverly shakes her head, leaning back straight in her chair and retracting her hand. "Actually, I had an idea. You've physically recovered enough for me to release you from the infirmary, but I can't send you back to duty yet. I don't feel comfortable having you totally alone while your memory is still impaired. You still need ongoing outpatient therapy for your concussion. I have plenty of space at my place. While you're recovering you're welcomed to stay with me." Beverly is facing a dilemma. Technically, physiologically Jean-Luc is healthy enough to be released from the infirmary and live independently. He could obtain temporary quarters while the _Enterprise_ is undergoing repairs. However, Beverly is acutely concerned about his long-term memory impairment. She knows he hadn't suffered a large concussion, and by all estimations he should make a full recovery from the minor head trauma he had suffered. What she believes is that she is seeing symptoms of the early stages of Irumodic Syndrome, and the neurographic scan had confirmed her suspicions. Beverly had already consulted with the foremost neurologist who had been studying Irumodic Syndrome for two decades, and the doctor had made plans to personally assess Picard in two days and offer Beverly a comprehensive prognosis and treatment plan for Picard's case. However, that left Beverly with a decision about what to do in the interim, and so she had decided to offer to make Jean-Luc a guest in her own home. She had hoped that that way she could ensure he was getting the therapy he required, she could watch over him, and be intimately involved in whatever steps needed to be taken after he met with the neurologist.

"Is this an offer you make all of your patients, Doctor?" teases Jean-Luc, lifting a brow playfully.

Grinning, Beverly rolls her eyes. "Just for my captain. Now, finish your breakfast and I'll get the administrative work completed and we'll get packed up."

Lifting a spoonful of cereal to his lips, Jean-Luc watches the doctor rise gracefully and make her way to the door. Whoever this woman is to him, she must mean the world to him. He's grateful that she's taken such nurturing and skillful care of him during his recovery.

PAGE BREAK

"Your apartment is lovely," comments Picard, padding slowly into the living area of Beverly's apartment.

Coming up behind him in the spacious, open-concept apartment, Beverly watches as Picard stares out the large picture windows over looking the San Francisco street. "Thanks. Make yourself at home. Would you like something to eat or drink?"

Shaking his head, Picard meanders around the living area as Beverly drops a small med kit on the kitchen counter. "No, thank you."

"I retrieved some clothes for you and some of your personal items from your cabin on the _Enterprise_. They're in a travel case in my spare bedroom," Beverly relays, unpacking some hypos of medicine for Picard that she packed in a medical kit on top of the counter.

"Oh, uh…Thank… thank you." Pleasantly surprised, Picard pauses by the sofa. How she would know to do that and what he'd need and want is beyond him. A little light-headed, Picard lowers himself onto the sofa.

Beverly crosses over to the living area, where Picard is perched on the sofa, staring at holophotos on the end table next to the sofa. "I'm going to work from home this afternoon. I have a report I have to finish. I'll be set up at my desk over there, but I'm here if you need anything." Pausing in front of the sofa, Beverly rests her hands on her hips, watching Picard fixated with the holophotos. "Jean-Luc?"

Jean-Luc gestures to two photos on the end table, one of a very young Beverly in a white lace gown in the arms of a young Starfleet officer, and the other of an equally young Beverly cradling an infant child to her chest. "Your family? Your husband and baby? They're not here?"

Face falling, Beverly crosses her arms over her chest, shivering. "No. My husband, Jack, died a very long time ago."

Blinking rapidly, Picard softens, looking up at Beverly sincerely. "I'm very sorry to hear that."

Brushing aside his empathy, Beverly sits next to him on the sofa and draws his attention to the holophotos on the coffee table, pointing to a large group photo taken on the day of William Riker and Deanna Troi's wedding. "That's my son, Wesley. He's on the _Titan_ , with Will Riker and Deanna Troi."

Examining the photo, Jean-Luc smiles easily, studying the cheerful faces of the old crew of his old ship. "Ah, yes, of course. I think Will Riker mentioned Wesley when he called yesterday."

"You were a very important role-model for him for years before he went to the Academy," Beverly tells Picard, pointing at a photo she must have taken on the Bridge of the _Enterprise_ , where Wesley is at the helm and Picard is leaning over giving Wesley some instruction. "He still looks up to you."

Picard's eyes wander to the last photo on the table, three smiling faces, and he can recognize a much younger version of himself, Beverly and her husband.

"On your old ship, the _Stargazer_ ," Beverly comments as he examines the picture, squeezing his bicep. "I was visiting Jack. You and Jack were as thick as thieves."

"All of these photos…" Picard runs his thumb over his lips, his eyes scanning the holos. "These faces are somehow familiar. I just…I just can't place them properly."

"That's okay," Beverly assures him, rubbing his arm. "You'll heal and your memory may come back. Our doctors and therapists are going to work with you. There's so much we can do to help you." Beverly knows. She knows she needs to tell him about the Irumodic Syndrome, but she just can't bring herself to do it yet.

Jean-Luc takes her hand in his and squeezes it affectionately, his eyes meeting hers. "Thank you, Beverly. You're right. We are…better than family."

Laughing lightly, Beverly leans in and pecks his cheek.

PAGE BREAK

"You ready to put down Shakespeare and go to bed?" teases Beverly, lowering herself onto the sofa beside Picard.

Picard, absorbed in the hard-cover paper book in his hands, glances up at her sheepishly. "Oh,uh…Sorry."

Laughing, Beverly rotates to press a hypospray to his neck. "Don't apologize. That's why I brought it from your cabin. It's good that you're reading, that you can concentrate and enjoy it."

Speechless, Jean-Luc stares openly at Beverly as she quickly runs the diagnostic wand of her tricorder in front of his face. He had never seen her out of uniform, and he's awe-struck by her raw beauty. In a soft royal purple terrycloth robe, her hair woven into a loose chignon at the nape of her neck and her face shining freshly washed, the doctor is no super model at present. But, Jean-Luc feels his skin warm and heart palpitate, suddenly feeling a warmth of attraction.

"You okay, Jean-Luc?" Beverly furrows her brows, studying the flush in his cheeks.

Giving his head a shake, Jean-Luc nods. "Yes, uh…Time for you."

A little puzzled, Beverly watches as Picard tucks the book under his arm and stands.

"Goodnight, Beverly. Have a good sleep," stutters Jean-Luc, anxious to retreat to the spare bedroom Beverly had prepared for him.

"Have a good sleep, Jean-Luc." Standing off of the sofa, Beverly touches his arm. "If you need anything I'm right next door. Please don't hesitate."

Smiling lightly, Picard wonders what he ever did to deserve her friendship.

PAGE BREAK

Startled to consciousness, Beverly jumps up in bed, the bedsheets falling to her lap. She's aware of an insistent knocking at her door, and she blinks the sleep from her eyes in the dark room as she turns on the light. "Come in."

The door slides open and Picard, barefoot, clad in his pyjama bottoms, tentatively steps into the bedroom.

"Jean-Luc? What's wrong?" Sitting bolt upright, Beverly tosses aside the bedsheets, prepared to get up and tend to her charge.

"I remember," Jean-Luc tells her earnestly, crossing the room.

"Remember what?" Beverly asks, studying him cautiously as Jean-Luc approaches the bed.

"Everything," chokes Jean-Luc, hot tears brimming in his eyes.

Beverly pats the edge of the bed, gesturing for him to sit down. "What…what memories, Jean-Luc?"

Perching on the edge of the bed, Jean-Luc shakes. "It was me. I was the one who was responsible for killing your husband."

Eyes widening, Beverly's jaw drops. Clad only in her thin satin nightgown, Beverly clamours up beside Jean-Luc, swinging her bare legs over the side of the bed. "That's not true!"

Nodding, Jean-Luc stares at the floor. "Yes. He was my best friend, and I let him down. And, I betrayed him."

Laying one hand on his knee, Beverly tilts his chin to look directly in his eyes. "You did not."

"Oh, yes," laughs Jean-Luc, covering her hand on his knee with his own hand. "I fell in love with my best friend's wife."

Softening, Beverly exhales, squeezing his knee. "Nothing ever happened between us, Jean-Luc."

"You were scared?" asks Jean-Luc in confirmation, gazing impossibly deep into her clear blue eyes. He seems to recall her rejection, her warm lips on his skin, her hand on her cheek. He had desperately wanted to make it work after decades of repressing his unrequited love and finally discovering that she had harboured feelings for him, only to be rejected, Beverly still nervous about crossing the threshold from friends to lovers.

"I couldn't stand to lose you, Jean-Luc," confesses Beverly, desperately trying to withhold the stinging tears threatening to overflow.

"What makes you think you would?" asks Jean-Luc seriously, a smile in the corner of his lips.

Lips trembling, Beverly looks into the hazel depths of his eyes, begging him to understand her trepidation. " I lost Jack. I was a widow…I…was just a kid and I was a single mother. I learned so young that this was the Starfleet life. But, I had Wesley and I had my life ahead of me, so I was independent and I made a wonderful life for me and my son. But, I didn't know if I could ever put my heart on the line again. I didn't want to experience that again."

A single tear cascading down his cheek, Jean-Luc's heart breaks. He brings Beverly's trembling hand to his lips and presses a kiss to her palm. "I know you've grieved. I know you don't want to go through that pain again. But, is it not better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?"

Cracking, Beverly sobs, turning her head into his neck and bracing her hands against his warm, bare chest.

Enveloping his arms around her back, Jean-Luc kisses her hair. "I was merely making a terrible literary reference. Please don't cry."

But, she knows it's so much more than all that. Beverly buries her face in the warm flesh of his neck, staining his neck in her tear tracks as her sobs subside. It's not just her insecurity following the loss of her husband at such a young age. Jean-Luc has been the one rock steady of her entire adult life. And, now, with this new diagnosis, she wonders how long she'll be able to cling to that notion. How can she give in and surrender to her feelings, knowing that she could lose him to this ruthless disease? Conversely, how can she possibly let him suffer in solitude? Now more than ever, she needs to be there for him in every way possible.

Caressing her back, Jean-Luc sighs. He's exhausted and hurt and aching and entirely confused. His mind is foggy, trying to recollect specific details, but he's entirely positive that this woman is his world. "I'm on the _Enterprise_ because it's the only companion I have left. My career, my command, has been the only driving force in my life. You're here at Medical because you're hiding. You're scared and you're hiding from the potential pain and hurt that could eventually come from the loss of what I know would be the most fantastic relationship. I'm tired of this rut. I'm far too old for this. No more 'Hide 'N Seek', no more Cat and Mouse. The game is over. Come out of your hiding spot. Let's make this real."

Drawing back, Beverly gazes searchingly into the rich hazel of his eyes, and finds his soul open to her. "Welcome home, Jean-Luc. I've missed you."

Jean-Luc cups her cheek, capturing her lips in a slow, sweet kiss. Slipping her hands around his neck, Beverly returns the kiss eagerly, her head spinning.

"I love you," confesses Jean-Luc, peppering her lips in short kisses, his hands sliding down her backside.

Stroking his neck, Beverly feathers his lips with a light kiss. "I love you, Jean-Luc."

Taking a steadying breath, Jean-Luc pecks her nose, almost shuddering in relief and contentment. "I…uh… woke you up in the middle of the night. I…uh…I'm sorry, Beverly. I should…let you sleep."

Dropping her hands to his arms, Beverly grins, urging him to lie on his back on the bed. "Come lie down."

Jean-Luc lets her guide him and then settles in, turning off the light. Beverly slips into the bed beside him, folding the bed sheets over top of them.

Turning onto her side to face him, Beverly tucks one arm beneath her head under the pillow and lays her other hand on Jean-Luc's chest beneath the blankets. "Comfortable?"

Curled up with his side against her, Jean-Luc covers her hand on his chest with his own and rotates his neck to drop a kiss to her forehead. "Thank you. I feel…right at home."

Rubbing his chest, Beverly lets out a long breath, relaxing into her pillow. "Goodnight, Jean-Luc. Sweet dreams."

Closing his eyes, Jean-Luc kisses her again, wondering if this is the reality or the dream. "Goodnight, my love."


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Jean-Luc quietly pads into the living area, clad in his slippers and robe, discovering Beverly in the corner at her large desk looking out over the massive picture window out onto the San Fransisco street below. Beverly is absorbed in reading off of the computer monitor, and Jean-Luc slowly crosses the room.

Startled at the sound of his footfalls, Beverly turns around to find Jean-Luc behind her. "Oh, Jean-Luc. Good morning."

Smiling gently, Jean-Luc notes that she's dressed in casual trousers and a knit sweater, rather than her standard uniform. "Good morning. Looks like you're getting an early start to the day?"

Rotating her chair around to face him, Beverly shrugs apologetically. "Those Starfleet bureaucrats are quite demanding, Jean-Luc."

"Are you working here today?" inquires Picard hopefully.

Rising out of her chair, Beverly reaches for his hand. "Yes. I have a video conference this afternoon and a brief to complete. It looks beautiful out. If you're up to it I thought maybe we could go for a walk after breakfast, get some air."

Jean-Luc slips his hands around her waist and draws her in, brushing his lips over hers. "That sounds lovely."

Beverly smiles against his lips, glad to see that Jean-Luc seem to be in strong mental cognition today. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Oh, it's my choice?" Jean-Luc teases her, stroking his hands down the small of her back over her sweater.

"Anything you'd like," offers Beverly raking her index finger over his bottom lip suggestively.

Kissing her finger, Jean-Luc's hazel eyes dance with mirth. "I just want you."

"Coffee first, dear," teases Beverly, stroking his jawline with her thumb.

Jean-Luc pecks her lips, dropping his hands.

Rubbing his shoulder, Beverly places a fleeting kiss to his cheek. "I'll get you some coffee and then make breakfast. You could use a decent non-replicated meal."

"Let me help," offers Jean-Luc, following Beverly to the kitchen in the open-concept apartment. "You've done more than enough already."

Beverly orders a steaming mug of dark coffee from the replicator and hands it to Jean-Luc. "Just go sit and have your coffee. You need time to recuperate."

Accepting the proffered mug, Jean-Luc decides not to argue with her, knowing it would be a losing battle. He's feeling so well today, and he's happy, and he doesn't want anything to interfere with that. For the first time in a very long time, he feels like he's exactly where he should be. "Thank you, dear."

PAGE BREAK

"You're right. This coffee is delicious," remarks Picard, sipping on his coffee from a paper cup that they had procured along their walk. After they had cleaned up from breakfast and Picard had dressed, they had set out on a leisurely stroll to get Picard up and moving, and breathe some fresh air. They had briefly paused to get a coffee and take a short break in the park.

Perched on a park bench in a small, grassy park , Beverly takes a sip from her own paper cup of coffee. "That bake shop has the best coffee. I walk in every morning on my way into Medical and get a coffee."

Taking her hand, Jean-Luc rests his cup beside him on the park bench. "When do you think I'll be able to return to duty?"

Linking her arm through his, Beverly exhales deeply. "I don't know, Jean-Luc. I think you need some time."

"But, I feel quite well," argues Jean-Luc, somewhat perplexed. "My injuries have healed. I know you were worried about the concussion, but it doesn't seem that bad. I've regained my memory. I can concentrate, think quite clearly…"

Grimacing, Beverly rotates to look directly into his eyes. "It's not just that. I ran a level four neurographic scan. Jean-Luc, you're in the early stages of Irumodic Syndrome." Choking back a sob, Beverly bites down on her bottom lip, trembling. "I'm so sorry, Jean-Luc. I…I was in denial, myself. I was putting off telling you."

Furrowing his brows, Jean-Luc is confused. "Well, there must be a mistake, Beverly. I feel fine."

Shaking her head, Beverly grasps his arm, hot tears welling in her eyes. "No. I'm sorry, Jean-Luc. "

Puzzled, Jean-Luc looks at her questioningly. "But, I can think fine. I have no neurological impairment."

"It's not constant," explains Beverly painfully, running her hand along his arm. "I think you suffered a concussion and that, combined with the Irumodic Syndrome, caused some impairment. You've healed and are doing better now. But, Irumodic Syndrome is a degenerative disease. You may have ups and downs, good days and bad. Some patients experience minor symptoms for years and others go down hill quickly. I…I don't know what it would look for you."

Pursing his lips, Jean-Luc seems to contemplate her response. "So, some days I could be perfectly fine, have my entire mental faculties, and other days I might not even know my own name?"

"I don't know," cries Beverly ruefully. "I've asked Doctor Frank Leibowitz to meet with you tomorrow. He's been researching and treating IS for two decades. He'll assess you properly and give us treatment options."

Inhaling sharply, Picard nods. "Well, then, I suppose we will know more then."

PAGE BREAK

"What time am I meeting with this…Doctor Leibowitz?" Picard sets his empty tea mug on the coffee table in front of them, a pensive look on his face.

"Nine," answers Beverly, laying a hand on his arm as she curls up beside him on the sofa. They had been sipping their tea in quiet conversation after dinner, relaxed in their pyjamas on the sofa, but Picard had appeared troubled. "You can come in with me in the morning."

Bobbing his head, Picard purses his lips. "Beverly, I did some reading when you were on your video conference. Irumodic Syndrome is…degenerative. I'm only going to get worse."

Rubbing his arm, Beverly smiles optimistically. "Doctor Leibowitz is on the frontier of brand new treatments. He'll have options for us."

Exhaling deeply, Jean-Luc covers her hand on his arm. "Beverly, I'm not sure how our relationship will develop, but it's not fair to you to commence an intimate relationship with someone with a severe neurological disease."

Eyes dilating, Beverly is shocked. "Jean-Luc, you think I don't love you because you have Irumodic Syndrome?"

Inhaling sharply, Picard grimaces. "Beverly, there's nearly two decades between us. And, now, a serious degenerative disease. It hardly seems right to…"

Forestalling him with a finger to his lips, Beverly shakes her head vehemently. "Shut up, Jean-Luc. Don't you dare talk like that." Hot tears stinging her eyes, Beverly fights her anger, grief and anxiety. "I love you. My feelings aren't dependent on you being young and healthy. I will always love you. And I promise…" Chocking back a sob, Beverly grips his arm fiercely. "I promise I will always take care of you."

Remorseful, Jean-Luc sighs, brushing her hair back from her face and freeing his hand to envelope his arm around her back. "I don't deserve you, Beverly."

Warm tears cascading down her cheeks, Beverly presses her cheek to his, laying one hand against his chest. "After all this time, we have to believe we deserve each other." She had taken far too long to get to this point, and she'll be damned if she ever goes back. Yes, Jean-Luc is ill. Yes, inevitably she will have to endure the devastating loss of the man she has come to love over decades, and it will take a piece of her soul. But, until that day comes, she will love him with everything she has.


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

"Jessica sent me a message from the class. He had interrupted the archaeology lecture and began rambling incoherently. Apparently Professor Zale tried to get him to calm down and take a seat, but he was out of control. I came to the class and brought him to my office. That was when I called you." An older black man in a standard duty uniform stands beside his desk in the large office at Starfleet Academy.

Frowning, Beverly briefly glances at the professor as she scans Picard, perched in the office chair behind the professor's desk. "Thank you, Todd. I'm glad you did. I'm sorry for the commotion."

"It's no problem. I was just worried. Is he alright?" Todd, a geology professor at the Academy, watches Beverly press a hypospray to Picard's neck.

"I cannot believe the trash they are teaching these cadets!" mutters Picard bitterly, crossing his arms in the chair. "Professor Zale should be fired. It's a gross injustice to the youth we are relying on to succeed us in representing Starfleet!"

Tossing Todd a wistful smile, Beverly puts a hand on Picard's shoulder. "Yes. I'll take care of him. Thank you."

Rubbing Jean-Luc's shoulder, Beverly smiles encouragingly. "Alright, Jean-Luc. Archaeology class is over. You can come hang out with me at the office."

Furrowing his brows, Picard shakes his head. "I thought I was going to…audit classes at the Academy?"

"School's out, honey," says Beverly softly, gently drawing Jean-Luc out of the chair. "Come on, we're going to go to Medical."

Puzzled, Picard shakes his head as Beverly leads him across the office.

"What happened?" Tal George, Beverly's second and right-hand inquires, hovering around outside Beverly's office door.

"He's been a bit depressed since the medical leave," admits Beverly, arms folded across her chest as she talks in a hushed tone to her most trusted officer. "Losing command of the Enterprise was a huge blow. I'm not sure what he'll do now. But, I thought he might enjoy exploring the Academy. I figured it'd keep his mind active attending lectures and chatting with cadets and faculty. I guess he got really upset at the lecture this morning and went off on a tangent. It was totally out of character. He doesn't usually go off like that."

"Has he been stable?" Tal inquires, peering in through the glass walls to see Picard awkwardly pacing Beverly's large corner office.

"For the most part," answers Beverly, her eyes following Tal's in through the glass walls to observe Picard shaking his head and palming his face. "He has his good days and his bad. Today is exceptionally bad."

"What can I do?" offers Tal, turning to Beverly.

Letting out a long exhale, Beverly leans against the glass wall of the office. "I was gone an hour and he was driving my staff crazy. I have a Command meeting in twenty minutes. This is totally outside the scope of your duties, but is there any chance you could keep an eye on him for a couple hours?"

Grinning, Tal nods easily. "Of course, Beverly. I'm happy to, as a friend."

Stepping forward, Beverly breathes a sigh of relief, squeezing Tal's elbow. "Thank you so much, Tal. I appreciate it."

Resting his hand on her shoulder, the tall doctor smiles easily. "Any time. Go on. Don't worry. Your…Jean-Luc is in good hands."

Smiling, Beverly takes a step back. "Thanks, Tal. I'll get back as soon as I can."

PAGE BREAK

"You really didn't need to do this. This is supposed to be your shore leave," states Picard, somewhat embarrassed as Wesley hands Will Riker the last of several trunks and cases from the storage room.

"Nonsense," Riker replies casually. "It's no trouble. We came to visit with you."

"And Mom wanted your stuff out of storage and brought to her place," shrugs Wesley, lifting a large trunk into his arms.

Frowning, Picard lifts a travel case from the floor. "Yes. Seems I can't do anything for myself anymore. First I lose my ship, then my independence."

Pausing by the door with a large case in his arms, Riker regards Picard in concern. "What do you mean?"

Rolling his eyes, Picard waves him on. "Never mind."

"The Irumodic Syndrome?" Riker presumes. Deanna had told him about the diagnosis and the former captain's progress from her chats with Beverly over subspace. And, of course, Riker had learnt immediately when Picard had lost commission of the Enterprise. He had instantly contacted Picard to inquire of his well-being. Now, as the Titan undergoes repairs at McKinley, they are visiting with Picard and Beverly for the day. Deanna had insisted that she see her friend as soon as possible, and check on the former captain. Deanna had been concerned about both Beverly and Picard since Picard's diagnoses. Beverly had asked Wesley to retrieve Picard's personal items that she hadn't personally collected from the Enterprise from storage and bring them to her apartment so they could sort through it.

Grimacing, Picard averts his eyes to the ground. "Damn disease is infuriating. Beverly thought it'd be a good idea for me to audit some lectures at the Academy. It sounded rather interesting, so I sat in on an archaeology lecture the other day. I got in to a heated argument with the professor, and some of the students. Another faculty member, a friend of Beverly's, asked me to come sit in his office for a while. He called Beverly and she came and she gave me something to calm down and took me back to her office. I…I was quite irritable and I didn't have my wits about me. She had to have her assistant babysit me while she was in a meeting all afternoon."

Wesley glances uncertainly between Picard and Riker. "I don't get it, sir. You seem perfectly normal."

Smiling bittersweet, Picard huffs. "For today."

PAGE BREAK

"Well, looks like you're getting settled in here nicely," remarks Will, pausing to watch Wesley adjust the chair behind the small desk he had finished setting up for Picard in the living room of Beverly's apartment. Wesley had stationed the desk by Beverly's desk to overlook the picture windows, and set up Picard's computer on top of it. Beverly had thought it'd be nice for Jean-Luc to have his own little workspace to read, write and send correspondence. She had taken to working from home some days in her home office, and she thought it would be good for him to have his own little space in the living area. Beverly and Deanna had gone for a walk to get out and to get some groceries to make a homemade dinner, so Will, Wesley and Jean-Luc had been setting up the workspace in the living area and unpacking Jean-Luc's trunks and travel cases.

Frowning, Picard sets a couple paper books on top of the desk. "I always pictured this differently. When Beverly and I are finally together, we're married and we have a family."

Letting out a long breath, Riker strokes his beard. "You can't have that now?"

Scoffing, Picard shakes his head, leaning back against the desk. "It's not fair to Beverly, for her to marry a man with a fatal disease, to consider bringing a child into the world knowing she'd have to raise it alone."

"You're wrong, sir," Wesley states confidently, walking around to stand in front of Picard. "Mom loves you. And, she's lost a husband before. She knows what it's like to be a single mother."

Swallowing hard, Picard nods soberly. "I just don't want her to experience that pain again."

"What Wesley means," Riker begins cautiously. "Is that the two of you are already in love. If you want marriage and children, why not ask her if that's something she'd consider? We all only have finite amount of time here in this universe. You might as well spend it with the ones you love."

Ruminating on his former First Officer and long-time friend's words, Picard nods solemnly. "Perhaps you're right."

PAGE BREAK

"He seems quite well tonight," remarks Deanna, sipping her tea on the sofa in the living area of Beverly's apartment.

Perched next to Deanna on the sofa, Beverly smiles against the rim of her tea mug. "He was looking forward to going out with Will and Wesley for a drink with some of the crew of the Titan. He doesn't socialize often."

It had been one of the best days Beverly had had in a long time. Her son is home for two weeks, and Beverly wants to soak up every minute with Wesley. Visiting with Will and Deanna today had been a treat. She had missed her friends terribly. Their visit had proven a welcomed distraction for Jean-Luc, who had been looking forward to seeing his old friends, as well. Wesley and Will had helped Jean-Luc get his belongings all unpacked, and it had been nice for him to chat and get up to date on what was happening on the frontlines. They had asked Picard to go out with them for a drink after dinner with a few crew from the Titan, Will thinking Jean-Luc might enjoy the company. Beverly had been thrilled to catch up with Deanna throughout the day, and grateful that Jean-Luc was socializing and focusing on positive things.

"He is…a little despondent, frustrated. I think it's difficult for him. He was on the frontlines, commanding the Federation's flagship, and now he doesn't have a role. He lacks….purpose, value," comments Deanna, trying to add perspective from her assessment of Jean-Luc's feelings.

"That's not entirely true," retorts Beverly defensively. "He doesn't have a job right now. That doesn't mean he doesn't have purpose. He's more than a Starfleet officer. His value comes from more than his career. He's a wonderful man and he has value to his friends and family."

Putting her hand on Beverly's arm, Deanna nods empathetically. "I know that, Beverly. I'm saying that's how he feels right now. He's frustrated, and anxious, uncertain about his future. Uncertain about your future."

"What do you mean?" Beverly presses, setting her mug on the coffee table in front of them.

"Will said he was embarrassed when they were moving all his things in here," admits Deanna. "Sometimes he feels helpless. And he feels guilty because you're starting this romantic relationship knowing that his days are limited. He wants to get married and have children, but he doesn't think it'd be right to put that burden on you knowing he could die shortly. Knowing the pain you experienced as a widow so young, he feels guilty knowing he'd cause you that kind of grief again when he eventually passes."

Entirely stunned, Beverly's eyes widen and her lips part, gaping at her friend openly. "Oh, Deanna. That…He…That's totally wrong. I love him. I'll always love him. I know it's going to hurt to lose him, but I can't not love him. "

Smiling in understanding, Deanna slides her hand down to squeeze Beverly's hand. "I know. I completely understand."

Biting down on her bottom lip, Beverly stifles a sob, tears starting to pool in her eyes. "It's so hard to watch him, Deanna. My heart aches. But, I love him. Unconditionally."

PAGE BREAK

"You had fun tonight?" Beverly turns off the light and curls up to Jean-Luc in bed as he folds the bed sheets over them.

"Yes. Looks like they have a very spirited crew on the Titan."Jean-Luc lays one arm over Beverly's bare stomach, drawing her in closer.

Beverly rests her head against Jean-Luc's shoulder, rubbing his bare hip. "Honey, did you tell Will that you wanted to get married and have children, but you were worried about leaving me a widow?"

Caught off guard, Jean-Luc freezes. "Yes."

Kissing his neck, Beverly strokes his hip. "Jean-Luc, I love you unconditionally. I will always love you. I know that if you should pass before me, you'll take a piece of my soul with you. But, I'd rather spend my time now loving you than trying to prevent the sorrow of tomorrow."

Sighing heavily, Jean-Luc kisses her hair, his hand warm on her stomach. "Is it…Is it responsible of me, to marry you, to consider bringing a child into this world, knowing that you'd be left alone?"

Drawing back, Beverly gazes into his eyes in the dimly lit room. "Jean-Luc, I'd consider it the greatest gift you could ever give."

Letting out a long exhale, Jean-Luc presses his lips to her forehead.

"If it's what you want, my love, we'll do it," whispers Beverly against his neck. "Even if you weren't sick, we all only have a limited amount of time. I'd rather spend our time together, making beautiful memories with our friends and family." Truthfully, Beverly doesn't know what's right. But, she knows she wants to make Jean-Luc happy. She wants to give him a family. She can't be certain how much time he has, be it a year, ten years, or thirty years. But, she wants to fill his time with love and laughter. She knows a baby would be good for both of them. And, eventually, the time will come when Jean-Luc will need more attention from her, and she'll give up her post at Medical and focus entirely on her family. But, for now, she can do this. She can make him happy.

Relaxing, Jean-Luc caresses across her abdomen, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. "I love you, cherie."

"I love you," echoes Beverly, her hand ghosting over the soft flesh below his navel.

Grinning mischievously, Jean-Luc gently rolls Beverly onto her back against the bed. "If we're going to make a baby, I believe it's prudent to get in plenty of practice."

Giggling, Beverly slips her arms around his neck. "Hmmm…I like your thinking."


End file.
